Another month has gone by and most of my resolutions sit collecting dust. There has been movement, but it is in a more of a blink-and-you-will-miss-it-sort-of-action. On the one hand, this is to be expected. February and March are the busiest months of the season for me at the library. The next few months will be much calmer as I do not have hoards of programs to host. Here is the run down for the last 30 days or so. . .
Adulting My Finances: Evidently, refinancing a mortgage is not a quick fix. I made the initial meeting to transfer over to the credit union and it took two hours for the preliminary part. Now I need to provide even more documentation. I am hoping to have most of it gathered and ready to submit by tomorrow or Saturday. Looks like I will not have time to sleuth out a Tax Professional by April 15th. So the tax-man and accountant will be pushed back yet again. I still need to cancel my subscription with a different service but again it requires lots of paper work and proof. To top it off I have been hit with $800 of unexpected expenses this month. One part for my visit to the emergency room, another for my dog’s visit to the emergency vet, one part for my car maintenance, and one really weird circumstance at work. Honestly?! At this rate, I am not going to want to Adult anymore.
Witnessing an Animal Birth: Still have not asked nor looked in earnest.
Going on Two Dates with Two Different Men: I have two co-workers who are really eager to assist with this. Together they have told me about a gentleman music teacher (has a Master’s Degree) in his 30s whom is cute. One of the ladies gave him my contact information, as I am game to meet. I have not heard from Mr. Music Teacher yet and this was almost three weeks ago. I have asked one of my younger cousins to let her “Gay Agency” know I am on the look out. As she puts it, “Gays, they know men. Gay or straight.” I cannot argue with that logic. However, “The Gay Agency” has been silent as well. Rats.
Making More Gluten-Free Choices: I recently had a wild week where almost no gluten-free choices were made, sad to confess. However, after becoming ill from it (which is why I am trying to abstain in the first place) I am on much better track. Whew! My belly thanks me.
Making Tomato Bisque and Gluten-Free Red Velvet Cupcakes: Absolutely no progress made in regards to this. In fact, I didn’t even think about it! Talk about taking two steps back.
Paid to Write: Nope, no movement here either. By the time I realized the next Inklings Writer’s Group was scheduled, it was upon me. The most I have written is for this blog. I am hoping to write articles for the library next month to advertise in certain local periodicals. Granted, those are volunteer pieces, but at least I will have something to critique for April’s Inklings gathering. Perhaps from there, I will look into submitting things for pay.
Touching My Toes: Not right now. I have not even attempted. Not all is loss in the fitness area, though. Now that I have my dog, Beaux, we are going out for hour-long walks in the wee hours of the morning, rain or shine. Today was rainy, actually. He thought it quite grand, I had other choice words as I was caught unprepared for the weather. I am hoping the walking will assist in loosening and stretching out some of my muscles.
That is the wrap up. Next month has to show progress as I am determined to finish the mortgage refinancing by April 9th, come hell or high water! Cannot promise anything else at this point.
Do you make new years resolutions, Dear Readers? How are you faring?
1800s, 19th Century, African American, American, Architecture, Art, Author, Books, Civil War, Eastern Europe, Fashion, Gentlemen, Jane Austen, Leisure, Library, Literature, Motherhood, Novel, Paris, Photography, Portrait, Regency, Renovation, Restoration, Society, South, Victorian, Video, Women
Let the randomness continue! For most folks February is a drizzly cold month. Perfect snuggle-weather inside for catching up on the up to the minute news or the latest book of choice. Oddly there is not much in the way of news this month. Usually there are scads of valentines and vinegar-valentine posts, but even then it was slim. For the record, I choose to highlight neither for this post as I have covered both in previous years. I like to keep things fresh as possible. Below are eight curated headlines from all over the internet with a lovely 19th century twist. There is a video from the 19th Century . . . Victorian porn, if you will (and totally safe for work!) In a slightly more shocking vein there was a short lived fad of portraits of mothers breast feeding their babies.–At least, that’s the story many are sticking to; they could be wet nurses or just a random baby for aesthetic purposes . . . There is an article on art-ENORMOUSLY large scale art of the Battle of Atlanta, worth the mention. For those Dear Readers, who are more literary inclined there is revelations of covert book cartels in the Eastern Europe in the 1800s. There is also a rendition, more like a police sketch, of the true face of Jane Austen’s beloved Fitzwilliam Darcy . . . and horror of all horrors it does NOT look like Colin Firth! *faints straight away at this news of scandal!* There is a piece on the renovation of the National Library of France in Paris with jaw dropping photographs that are the envy of every librarian in the world. Along similar lines, there is a big push to restore entire 19th century towns/main street-like projects across the pond. I love stories like these and would happily move in! Just let me know where to sign! Lastly in honor of Black History Month in America there is a mini-bio of an African American Civil War veteran as part of a town’s weekly spotlight on the heroes of the war and the many contributions of the African American community.
Something you may not know about me, I have a tendency to chatter. Actually, it’s a cycle. I’m silent and focused for really long stretches of time enjoying my solitude. Then . . . I’m not. Many of my life epiphanies and revelation have been slips of the tongue in a seemingly meaningless (but entertaining!) conversation.
True to form. Yesterday, I made the off-hand comment to a co-worker, “I’ve been to twice as many funerals as I have been to weddings.” –We were talking about the fear of death, or in my case, the lack there of. When I sat back down at my office, I quickly calculated. I have attended 10 weddings in my life and 19 funerals and no births. I have never seen an animal born nor held a day old baby. This realization bothered me far more than it should. Half of the weddings I’ve attended were as a plus one to my ex-fiancé. Which means if I had not met him, I’ve would have only been to five weddings.
Now Death; death is an old friend. He and I had a heart to heart many years ago. We’re cool. I know what to expect of him. –Prior to attending college I seriously considered Mortuary Studies. I have always been fascinated by death rituals and embalming. I think it is a great honor to be entrusted with some else’s loved one and to serve the living in their moments of great need. It is a very meaningful career.–My father used to say it has the best job security. . .
When I lamented my latest revelation to my Mother, she paused before she made her point. “Well, honey, not many people are getting married these days. Everyone is living with one another or postponing the wedding, but people keep dying. So funerals won’t go away.”–I had to laugh. Because . . . truth.
After much thought, I realized I will be burying others until my own day comes, and I can’t foresee weddings for the “Nine Left Over” in my family who are all of marriageable age but have yet to get married (ages range from 26-40), but there is one thing I can control. Kinda. I can experience a birth. Not my own obviously. It takes two to tango after all. I am determined by my birthday in 2017, I will present as a witness to an animal birth.
Why is this important to me? And who cares? For one, the Victorians experienced all three milestones in close quarters at home and the village. They were exposed to all life’s joys and tragedies at a very, very early age. So being Victorian-esque, naturally, has an appeal for me. There is more to it, however. –I know I am a person that needs hand holding through new experiences. At least once. I like to know that there is someone there to support me. Insecure? Perhaps. Nervous and apprehensive? Most definitely. I have a much greater uncertainty with birth, than I do with Death. This is partially due to Doctor’s telling me I will have a difficult time conceiving, unlikely to carry to term, and my childhood fear of dying in childbirth . . . But simply because it’s “unknown.” So, yes, I fear the unknown.
The best way to get over it and embrace it is . . . no, not to get pregnant myself, but experience first as an outsider. The “easiest” way would be to be present for a an animal birth. Puppies, kitties, horses, goats, cows, sheep, whatever is nearby in town. Someone instructed me to just watch a YouTube Video of a graphic delivery.–Yeah, no thanks. I could do that, but that’s not the experience I seek. The energy of a live birth. I want to know what that feels like. Then maybe, maybe I’ll move closer to peace about having children of my own. Or not. I’ll let you know after my exploration on the subject.
I don’t ever want to be a person who “desperately wants” any more. So. Much. Heartache. I’ve experienced with the break up of my engagement. I can’t image the level of those women who are dying to have a child and not being able to. I don’t ever want to be so desirous like that. I do want to come to terms with “whatever happens, happens and be joyous about it.” If I remain single for the rest of my days? Sweet! If I end up marrying Ryan Reynolds, Leonardo DiCaprio, or Sam Heughan? Awesome. If I never have children? Great. If I some how end up with five? Perfect. If I die in my sleep tonight? Nice. If I wake up tomorrow morning? Wonderful! Life and Death. It’s all good.
I am not a mother. I am not sure I want to be. I understand there are women out there who yearn to have a child with every fiber of their being. –The mere thought of raising a child terrifies me on so many levels!
First, let’s address the birthing process shall we? Death by childbirth is not an archaic nor third world issue. Since, I was little I had an unnatural fear I would die in childbirth, if it ever came to that. As an adult doctors have confirmed, given what they could tell of my lady parts, 1) There is a good chance it will be difficult for me to conceive 2) Should I conceive, I shan’t carry to term. This is coming from multiple doctors. Not comforting, to say the lest. It reinforces the fear of death by childbirth. Although with morbid humor one of my cousins once exclaimed, “Oh that would be such a “You” way to go! All historically melodramatic and martyr-like. Kinda passive aggressive of you to prove to the family that if you followed their ways, it’d be the death of you.”–Thanks. Not helpful.