This January marks a new chapter in my life for various reasons. First, I have taken in one and one eighth boarders! My charming older brother moved in on the 10th to Diamondleaf Cottage along with his tea-cup applehead Chihuahua, named Juno/Junie. She is the one eighth, I speak of. Seriously, she’s so tiny! My brother whom, I am tempted to refer to as Mr. Davis, but the formality strikes the wrong chord for someone of his . . . “unique disposition.” Perhaps, Charming Brother will have to do (He suggested being called “Good Sir”. . . I promptly vetoed the idea.)
Charming Brother and itty bitty excuse of a canine plan to stay on for two or three years, while he recovers emotionally and financially from his divorce. He also wants us to bond more, “because when Mom and Dad die, you’re all I’ve got.”– His power of persuasion could use some brushing up, but I cede his point.
This should be a very interesting and snarky two years! He is a night owl and I am a morning lark. He has been here for almost two weeks and already has plans to gut and revamp my backyard because it does not suit him. On the bright side, he is beginning to speak of world take overs. NOW he is talking my language! We had a . . . tumultuous relationship as children and in many ways we have not grown up which is both amusing and annoying. Ah, sibling love . . . Hold on to your hats, Dear Readers, this is bound to be a wild ride!
Way back when I used to write Christmas cards and newsletters for my friends and family, but then I wised up and went digital. It is more cost effective. As of late, I am really enjoying writing and blogging more than ever! So I decided to pen a Christmas letter and send out a few cards this year, because I have time and I enjoy sharing with everyone. Letter writing is also a very Victorian thing to do and . . . well, you know how I feel about Victorian things.
The 21st century twist to this letter is I wrote it my snarky voice. A spoof of Deadpool’s 2015 promotional Christmas letter. It is not the eloquent voice I used when I first began this blog four years ago. This is letter is more along the lines how I converse in real life, with more SAT vocabulary mingled with “gangsta phrasing.”
BEHOLD! I present you the letter I mailed out to my nearest and dearest who appreciate witty sarcasm. **Names have been shortened to protect the identity of my family, unless they otherwise give me permission to broadcast it.**
It is December! Huzzah! Who else is looking forward for this year to be over with? *raises hand* –We are now in the homestretch with Christmas and New Years right around the corner. As longtime readers may know, I have a penchant for themes. In fact, as Christmas is now held at my house, my brother just inquired the other day, “So what’s the Christmas theme this year?”–He knows me so well!
This year’s theme was chosen by my mother last year from a short list: “Angels and Miracles.” As to why she picked this theme she admitted “It’d be a miracle if we survive the coming year.” A bit morbid, but all right. When I shared the theme with my brother he blurted out “Well, how the hell am I suppose to dress for that?!”–Oh, did I tell you? I sometimes dictate a dress code for my Christmas dinners. Not every year though! Goodness, what do you take me for?–So I instructed him to dress “angelic and miraculous”. He proceeded to roll his eyes.